The Chronicles of Brawl: Dedede's Brigade
by Settle4Perfection
Summary: After the events of Super Smash Brothers Brawl, some characters have decided they want more power in the world of Brawl. So, others have formed their own factions to defend what they stand for. This is King Dedede's story.
1. A Fair Warning

The Chronicles of Brawl: Dedede's Brigade

Chapter 1: A Fair Warning

"Yes!" exclaimed King Dedede in excitement, "It's finally complete!" Dedede wore his pink robes proudly as he held his hammer dearly. He had just finished repairing the flying platform he stole from Giga Bowser. The platform would fly throughout the skies, traveling wherever Dedede pleased. All just to battle with others. He looked in all directions, there was no one around for miles. The area at which Dedede inhabits as of nowadays is a wasteland. The ground is completely white. The sky is a pale blue, but grows red toward the horizon. Clouds lazily drift by. This was the Brawl Dimension, a desolate dimension at which people come to brawl with each other. You see, this dimension could access portals to almost every dimension in existence. Dedede made his humble abode here with his waddle-dees and waddle-doos.

The celebration was broken abruptly as one of Dedede's waddle-doos showed up.

"What do you want?" asked Dedede.

"Sir, you have company," replied the doo.

"Who is it?"

"Solid Snake, sir."

"Oh no. He's come to take my platform away. We have to hide it."

Solid Snake and King Dedede have a rivalry together. The two warriors battled constantly to exert their dominance over the other. Snake almost always was the victor. Due to Dedede's constant defeats, he's come to the conclusion that Snake is his number one enemy.

Suddenly, Snake appeared to Dedede.

"No! You're not getting my platform!" screamed Dedede.

"Dedede, I'm not here to fight. I need to talk to you," replied Snake.

"Get away!" screamed Dedede as he hopped onto his platform.

"Would you just listen to me?" asked Snake as he hopped on the platform as well.

As the two stood on the platform, it lifted from the ground and flew into the sky at a tremendous speed. A portal ripped in the sky as the platform entered it. Dedede and Snake were now drifting through subspace, a dimension between dimensions.

"What the hell is going on?" asked Snake.

"I said STAY AWAY!" yelled Dedede in response.

"I just need to talk to you," said Snake, taking a few steps forward.

"GET AWAY!!" screamed Dedede as he swung his gargantuan hammer, striking Snake in the face.

"OW! God damn it!" yelled Snake, holding his now broken nose, "What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you fucking retarded?"

"I said GET AWAY!!" screamed Dedede again as he swung his hammer, striking Snake in the stomach.

Snake flew several feet back, almost falling from the edge. "If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll get," said Snake as he got to his feet. He then pulled his rocket launcher from his back and launched a rocket at Dedede. Thinking on his feet, Dedede pulled his trusty waddle-dee out of his robe and hurled it in front of him. The unfortunate waddle-dee was struck by the rocket, point-blank. Little chunks of flesh and blobs of blood were spewed about the platform.

"You son of a bitch!" yelled King Dedede, "Look what you did! Now my platform has blood stains on it!"

Snake attempted to fire another rocket at Dedede, but he was out of ammunition. Being unprepared for a brawl, Snake had not packed additional rockets. Snake had to think of something, fast. Dedede was creeping closer to him with a bloodthirsty look in his eyes. Snake hurled his rocket launcher at Dedede in attempt to buy himself some time. The rocket launcher struck Dedede in the face as he fell backwards. His hammer fell out of his grasp. While Dedede was regrouping, Snake was thinking of a plan. Thinking on his feet, Snake pulled his pistol out of his holster and loaded it with a round of ammunition. By this time, Dedede had regrouped and was creeping towards Snake with the same bloodthirsty look in his eyes again. Snake raised his pistol and shot Dedede in the shoulder. Dedede flinched, grabbing his bloody shoulder after dropping his hammer. Snake lowered his pistol and stepped closer.

"Are you ready to listen to me?" asked Snake.

"NEVER!!" screamed Dedede as he swatted the gun right out of Snake's hand. The pistol flew back to the edge of the platform.

"I just need to talk to you!"

"Then why did you shoot me!?"

"Because you tried to kill me!"

Swiftly, Dedede swiped his hammer from the ground and swung it at Snake. Snake, fortunately, leapt back in time, just barely evading Dedede's deadly attack. Snake now lay on his back at the edge of the platform. Suddenly, Dedede's hammer opened, revealing a rocket booster which was charging for increased damage. Dedede crept closer toward Snake, preparing for his final blow. Snake looked back and noticed his pistol hanging over the edge of the platform. Having a strategy in mind, he plucked it from the ground and aimed it at Dedede's hammer. Quickly, Snake squeezed the trigger. Almost immediately, Dedede's hammer exploded. Dedede was now holding a charred handle of what used to be his hammer.

"No!" yelled Dedede.

Snake leapt from the ground and jammed his pistol in Dedede's mouth. Dedede dropped his broken handle and raised his hands in surrender.

"Goodnight, Dedede," said Snake as he pulled the trigger.

The back of Dedede's head burst open as the bullet tore out several chunks of flesh. Oozing blood, Dedede collapsed. Dedede was dead.

The platform continued flying through space as another portal opened up. The platform entered it. Behind the portal was the Brawl Dimension. The platform made a soft landing on the ground. The waddle-dees and waddle-doos looked on at Dedede's bloody corpse.

"Get me a life shroom ASAP!" yelled a waddle-doo.

A waddle-dee presented the waddle-doo with a life mushroom. The waddle-doo leapt onto the platform and shoved the pink life mushroom down Dedede's throat. In seconds, Dedede got to his feet. His wounds were beginning to heal.

"What the hell was that?" asked Dedede.

"Snake killed you, I had to use a life shroom," replied the waddle-doo.

The life mushroom was an item from the Mushroom Kingdom Dimension. It could bring the recently deceased back to life.

"Now can I finally talk to you?" asked Snake.

"Fine, what is it?" replied Dedede.

"New foes have revealed themselves."

"From where?"

"The Fire Emblem Dimension. Marth and Ike."

"So?"

"They've signed alliance to Pit."

"The angel kid?"

"Yes, and together, they're deadly."

"What should we do?"

"I suggest you form your own faction. Just your waddle-dee army won't help you."

With that, Snake was off to his own base.

"If all he wanted to do was talk, he should have said so," said Dedede to himself.


	2. New Recruits

Chronicles of Brawl: Dedede's Brigade

Chapter 2: New Recruits

Dedede prepared his dimensional platform, which he called the Final Destination, to travel to another realm. After some final preparations, Dedede hopped on the platform accompanied by a small squad of waddle-dees. The platform lifted from the ground and began lifting into the sky. A portal opened up, which the platform entered. The Final Destination began warping through subspace until it reached Dedede's home dimension, Dreamland. The portal opened near the Fountain of Dreams at which Kirby and Meta Knight were battling for control of the Star Rod. Final Destination flew out of the portal and crashed into the fountain of dreams, completely destroying it. Meta Knight and Kirby were nearly killed in the crash.

"Dedede, are you fucking crazy!?" exclaimed Meta Knight, "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Guys, I need your help!" said Dedede, "Meta Knight, Kirby, there are bad guys and I need your help beating them."

"Go fuck yourself."

"I've tried that, it's physically impossible. Now get on, I'm taking you to the Brawl Dimension."

"Fuck off."

"Waddle-dees, please tie up Meta Knight."

"Wait, what?"

Suddenly, Meta Knight was surrounded by waddle-dees. They covered him in a burlap sack. They then tightly tied rope around him. Meta Knight began to struggle, but a waddle-dee beat him with a baseball bat until the squirming ceased. Kirby, upon seeing this, voluntarily joined King Dedede.

"A wise choice, Kirby," said Dedede, "Boys, get this thing started. Take us back to the Brawl Dimension."

The Final Destination lifted from the ground again, carrying Kirby and Meta Knight this time, and flew into another portal.

In minutes, the platform had reached the Brawl Dimension. It landed softly on the ground. King Dedede led Kirby from the platform. Several waddle-dees carried Meta Knight behind, who was still tied up in a sack. After several minutes of walking, the trio came upon a large hole in the ground.

"What's this?" asked Kirby.

"This is my lair," replied Dedede, "I call it The Hole."

Dedede leapt into The Hole, followed by Kirby, followed by his waddle-dees and Meta Knight. The group landed in what appeared to be a living room. The theme of the room was a purple leopard skin. Everything had a purple leopard skin pattern on it, from the carpet to the television set. This was apparently where Dedede lived. The Hole was actually an intricate system of underground bunkers. The waddle-dees released Meta Knight before going off into a different room.

"Where am I?" asked Meta Knight.

"This is my home. And it is your home now, too," replied Dedede.

"Please kill me."

"No can do. I need you on my squad."

"Why?"

"So I can stand up to Pit and his squad."

"The angel kid?"

"That's him."

"Why can't you do it yourself? The kid's like thirteen."

"Because he made friends with swordsmen, so I need a swordsman of my own."

"Then why did you take Kirby with us?"

"Because he's single-handedly kicked both of our asses on several occasions."

"Fine, I'll help you. But only as long as we don't have a gay name."

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that. My good pal Snake helped me pick out a name. He said it would be perfect for my faction."

"What is it?"

"The Faggot Brigade!"

"You're kidding me right?"

"What's a faggot?" asked Kirby.

"Snake told me it's Japanese for, 'Really Cool Person,'" replied Dedede.

"Only you would believe him," added Meta Knight.

"Oh, I'm not that stupid," said Dedede, "I looked it up just to clarify it. Faggot is also the British term for a cigar. But that doesn't matter."

"You are such a fucking dumbass…"

"Hey, we have a no-swearing policy in the Faggot Brigade. If I hear you use the word, 'dumb,' again, I'll kick your fucking ass."


	3. The Great Sea

The Chronicles of Brawl: Dedede's Brigade

Chapter 3: The Great Sea

King Dedede stood atop Final Destination, preparing for another excursion. Meta Knight and Kirby appeared to him, bearing their usual expressions.

"What are you doing?" asked Meta Knight.

"I'm looking for more recruits," replied Dedede.

"We're not enough for you?"

"No, I need others."

"Alright. Try not to get killed. I'll be in The Hole, sleeping."

"No, you're coming with me."

"What?"

"As your new leader, I command you to get on this platform."

"Fine. Come on, Kirby."

Meta Knight and Kirby hopped onto the platform, followed by dozens of waddle-dees and waddle-doos. Final Destination began to lift from the ground. It accelerated into the sky until entering subspace.

"Now we're going to end up in a random dimension," said Dedede, "According to my waddle-doos, there's only a 12% chance we'll exit subspace in a place with breathable air, so brace yourselves."

"Wait, what!?" replied Meta Knight.

"Well, you see, I set Final Destination to enter a random dimension. There are no precise coordinates. We could end up anywhere."

"Fuck this!" yelled Meta Knight as he dove from the platform. He saw a portal open up not far from him. In subspace, portals could randomly open at any time. Through the portal Meta Knight saw tall grass. Following instinct, Meta Knight entered the portal.

"Well Kirby," said Dedede, "Looks like it's just you and me."

The portal Meta Knight had entered closed behind him. Final Destination continued flying through subspace. Eventually, it entered another portal.

Meanwhile, in the Great Sea, Toon Link was battling a robot on his pirate ship. The sky was dark and grey. The robot fired a laser out of its eyes, but Toon Link leaped out of the way just in time. The robot was the Robotic Operating Buddy, or R.O.B. However, he was commonly known as simply Rob. Toon Link fired an arrow at the robot. The arrow barely missed Rob's head. Suddenly, a portal opened up not too far from the ship. Out of it came Final Destination. The platform was moving at an alarming pace. It appeared as though it had an engine conflict.

"Danger! Danger! We're coming in hot!" yelled one of the waddle-doos.

Toon Link and Rob looked up to see the giant platform flying on a collision course with the ship. Immediately, the two ran to the front of the boat for safety. Quickly, Final Destination crashed into the back of the ship, completely destroying the entire back region. Final Destination now rested atop the ship. Holes and cracks now littered the deck, and more appeared by the second. The entire waddle-dee army evacuated Final Destination. The waddle-dees began to loot and dismantle the ship, claiming it in the name of King Dedede.

"What the hell are you doing!?" asked Toon Link.

King Dedede stepped forward and raised his new hammer proudly, "I am King Dedede, leader of the Faggot Brigade. I have conquered your ship. Now, join me or perish."

Toon Link raised his sword threateningly at Dedede, "Nobody takes over my ship."

Suddenly, Toon Link was swarmed by waddle-dees. They placed a burlap sack over him and tied a rope around it tightly. One of the waddle-dees grabbed a baseball bat and began to beat Toon Link repeatedly. Rob watched them do this and looked at Dedede. Almost immediately, Rob fired his laser at him, stinging him in the arm.

"Ow! That really hurt, you asshole!" yelled Dedede in pain.

Dedede raised his hammer threateningly and prepared to begin his berserk. He was then interrupted by a waddle-doo.

"Sir, I don't think it's wise to use your hammer right now," said the waddle-doo.

"Why the hell not?" replied Dedede.

"Because the ship is coming apart as it is and Final Destination's engine is flooded. If you destroy this ship, we're royally screwed."

"I'll do whatever the hell I want to do!"

Dedede raised his hammer once more and smashed it into the deck of the ship. The force of his massive hammer broke an even more massive hole in the deck. Suddenly, the entire deck collapsed as everybody fell into the lower deck on the bottom of the ship. The lower deck was beginning to take on water.

"Look what you fucking did," said the waddle-doo.

"Stop yelling at me!" replied Dedede.

Rob looked on the lower deck to find a bomb, unused by Toon Link. Rob picked it up before he blasted into the sky with his rocket boosters.

"He's getting away!" yelled the same waddle-doo, "Do something, dumbass!"

Dedede glared at the waddle-doo.

"Don't stare at me, fucking do something!" screamed the waddle-doo.

Dedede, again, did not reply but instead continued to glare at him. At this point, tears began to drip from his eyes and snot from his nose.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you fucking retarded!?" screamed the waddle-doo at Dedede.

Having had enough of the waddle-doo, Dedede grabbed him by the foot.

"What are you doing!? Let go of me!" pleaded the waddle-doo.

Dedede hurled the waddle-doo into the air at an amazing speed. He hit Rob with sufficient force to send him crashing back to earth. However, the unfortunate waddle-doo was splattered to bits in the process. Rob fell out of the sky and landed back on the lower deck, still clutching the bomb. However, now the bomb was lit. Dedede picked up the bomb from the unconscious robot's hands. He didn't know what to do with it. Nervous, he chucked it into the air.

"That was close," he said, wiping the snot from his nose.

His victory was short lived as the bomb fell back onto the lower deck and exploded. The blast was not powerful enough to destroy the lower deck, but powerful enough to set fire to it. Dedede was now becoming nervous again. The waddle-dees and waddle-doos began to scurry back to Final Destination. Kirby grabbed Toon Link, who was still wrapped up in a bag, and took him to the platform. Dedede grabbed Rob and jumped on after Kirby.

With Dedede, Kirby, Toon Link, and Rob onboard Final Destination, it lifted from the pirate ship. Even though the engine was flooded, it was still capable of one last jump into subspace. Dedede commanded the platform to enter subspace again. It did so to his command, leaving behind several dozen waddle-dees and waddle-doos on the ship to burn/drown.


	4. Prisoners

Chronicles of Brawl: Dedede's Brigade

Chapter 4: Prisoners

Toon Link had been unconscious for hours. The last memory he had of being awake was when he was fighting Rob on his ship. He recalls an odd vehicle appearing out of what seemed to be an alternate universe and crashing into his ship as dozens of odd creatures came aboard. The next thing he remembers was being trapped under a sack while being beaten with something. Toon Link's eyes opened. He observed his surroundings to find he was in some kind of prison cell. There were no windows in the room, but a single light bulb dangling from the ceiling. In the cell were a toilet and a sink, hanging above which was a mirror. Toon Link peered into the mirror to find himself beaten severely. One of his teeth was missing and his lip was fat. Also, he had a black eye. Toon Link struggled to stand up, as his body pulsed with pain. He was covered in bruises. In the corner of the room rested Rob. He appeared to be operational.

"Hey, you're that robot," said Toon Link.

"Hey, you're that Hylian," replied Rob, sarcastically.

"What happened? Where are we?"

"Well, when I boarded your ship to take your things, something came out of nowhere and almost destroyed your ship. Then a bunch of waddle-dees and waddle-doos got off and raided us. They put a bag over your head and beat you nearly to death. Then the fat penguin hurled a water balloon at me, grabbed hold of me, and then dragged us both aboard. The weird thing he was riding took flight and entered subspace. I tried to fight back, but some pink marshmallow thing opened its mouth and sucked me right in. Then I woke up here."

"So those things weren't with you?"

"Hell no. I'm a lone wolf. I just travel from place to place robbing people. I have a whole stash of rare stuff from around the universe back at my place."

"Do you have anything that could break us out?"

"I did have some pokéballs from when I raided Kanto, but I must have lost them when that penguin thing sacked me. Believe me, if I had anything useful on me right now, I would have used it to break out already."

Suddenly, the door opened. Out of it came a few waddle-dees accompanied by a waddle-doo. The opened the cell and grabbed Toon Link and Rob. The two struggled in their grip as they were dragged out of the room. Through the door was a long hallway with a few doors here and there. At the end of the hall was a room was just as dark as the prison cell. The waddle-dees and waddle-doos dropped Toon Link and Rob on the floor. In front of them was a large desk that had a computer on it and an easy button. Behind the desk was a large chair, but it was facing the wall behind it. The waddle-dees and waddle-doos exited the room and shut the door behind them. The chair turned around to reveal King Dedede, wearing a top hat and a monocle while blowing bubbles out of a plastic pipe. He removed the pipe from his mouth to speak, "Well hello," he said in a fake British accent.

Toon Link and Rob exchanged glances. When Dedede raided the ship and captured them, they perceived him as being something of a rogue. But now they were beginning to question his sanity.

"OK, what the fuck is going on here?" asked Rob.

"Yeah, what's the big idea?" added Toon Link.

"You really should be honored," replied Dedede, still faking a British accent, "You two will be the newest additions to the Faggot Brigade!"

"The Faggot Brigade? Are you fucking joking?" asked Rob.

"If I were you, I would not use the Faggot Brigade's name in such vein, my dear robot. I have total power over you, so do not even attempt a mutiny."

"What if we don't want to join?" asked Toon Link.

"For you, young boy, you will be eaten for tomorrow's brunch if you refuse to join," replied Dedede, still speaking in a British accent.

"And me?" asked Rob.

"For you, robot, I wouldn't dream of trying to resist," replied Dedede.

"Why's that?"

"I can easily reprimand your hard drive."

"I'd be surprised if you'd even know how to turn your computer on."

"Oh yeah? Well take this! Control, alt, delete!"

Rob paused, staring at Dedede for a few moments. Dedede had a sinister look on his face, as though what he just said had some sort of power over Rob.

"Was that supposed to do something?" asked Rob.

Dedede's sinister look faded, "I don't understand, that was supposed to fry your hard drive."

"If you honestly thought that would work, you're even more of an idiot than I thought. That command exists only on computers, and I'm nothing like your run-of-the-mill Windows or Mac or Linux or whatever the fuck you have on your desk. Plus, that command doesn't fry the hard drive on ANY computer. It never has, nor does it do anything destructive."

"No, I know for a fact using control, alt, and delete will destroy any computer! You must just be a robot from hell or something."

"OK, you idiot. Go ahead and press those keys on your computer right now."

"No."

"Why not?"

"You just want me to fry my own hard drive."

"Just try it and you'll see—"

"No!"

"Christ, you're an idiot."

"I know you are but what am I?"

"'I know you are but what am I'? My God, how old are you, eight?"

"Never mind my age, the hour grows late. Will you join or will you perish?"

"I guess I really got no choice," replied Toon Link.

"Wise decision. May I have your name so I may add you to the roster?"

"Toon Link."

"I'll just call you Link because it's easier."

"Well, I'd really prefer it if—"

"And you, robot?"

"Well, it's not like you can do anything if I refuse, so I refuse," replied Rob.

"Oh yeah? Control, alt, delete!" yelled Dedede as the sinister look appeared on his face again.

"For the last fucking time, saying that isn't going to fry my hard drive."

"Goddamn, I was certain that would work this time."

"If it didn't work the first time, what makes you think—"

"So, robot, since you have chosen death, you will now be taken to the execution chamber."

Dedede pressed a button underneath his desk. Moments later, several few waddle-dees and waddle-doos entered the room again.

"Guards, take the blond haired kid to the living quarters and take the robot to the execution chamber to be put to death," said Dedede, still speaking in a fake British accent.

Dedede continued to blow bubbles from his plastic pipe and as Toon Link and Rob were dragged away.


	5. Orientation

Chronicles of Brawl: Dedede's Brigade

Chapter 5: Orientation

The waddle-dees and waddle-doos finally released Link from their grasp when they had reached a bedroom. The room was rather fruity as far as décor went. The entire room was purple leopard skin themed. Everything in the room was purple leopard skin, from the carpet to the walls to the ceiling to the beds. The beds were bunk beds and one was placed on each side of the room, allowing residence of four people in the entire room. Between the two beds was a small nightstand with a lamp resting atop, both of which purple leopard skin themed. Above the nightstand hung a painting, a portrait of King Dedede wearing a purple leopard skin thong while lounging on a sofa.

Link landed on the floor with a thud as the waddle-dees and waddle-doos simply chucked him into the room and slammed the door behind them.

"Hey, keep it down! I'm trying to sleep!" yelled a high-pitched voice from one of the top bunks.

"Uh, sorry," replied Link.

A round, pink face peered over the edge of the bed, it was Kirby. He examined Link for a bit before speaking, "Hey, you're not Meta Knight. You must be… a rookie?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Oh! Awesome!"

Kirby jumped down from his bunk and continued, "That means I get to 'show you the ropes' like King Dedede told me to. I don't have any ropes so I'm just going to have to give you some orientation."

"I'm pretty sure that when he said, 'show me the ropes,' he meant—"

"Shush! Let me talk! Anyway, I'm Kirby. You are?"

"Toon Link."

"Well, I'm just going to call you Link for short. So, have any questions so far?"

"Well, first, where are we?"

"The Brawl Dimension, but right now we're a few miles underground."

"OK, why are we here?"

"I don't know. Dedede likes this place."

"Who is Dedede? I mean, I know who he is, but where did he come from and what is he doing?"

"Dedede is from Dreamland, just like me. He is the self proclaimed King of Dreamland, to be precise. As far as what he plans to do, I have no idea."

"So, that Dedede guy, is he… alright? You know, like, mentally?"

"I don't see why not. What makes you ask that?"

"Well, when I first saw him, he seemed somewhat… competent, if you know what I mean. Then the next time I saw him, he was wearing a top hat and talking in a refined accent like some kind of aristocrat. On top of that, half the things he said made no sense whatsoever."

"Yeah, he's a little eccentric."

"Am I to assume he is also the one who decorated this room?"

"Yup! He's very artistic."

"I can see that…" replied Link as he looked at the painting on the wall.

"So, what can you do?"

"Excuse me?"

"Like, when you brawl, what can you do?"

"Well, I did have a sword and shield."

"Oh, that sucks."

"What about you?"

"I can copy people's abilities."

"Oh, that's cool I guess."

Suddenly, a bell rang in the room.

"What was that?" asked Link.

"Dinnertime!" replied Kirby as he burst out of the room.


End file.
